Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
