this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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