In the future we'll all be gay
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
