I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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