I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
