We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
