I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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