I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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