What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
