I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
