I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
