That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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