I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
