There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
