How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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