we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
