Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
