I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
