why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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