i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
