she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
