you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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