He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
