I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
