Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
