how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
