he told me I talked like a deaf person
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize