She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want her autograph on my taint
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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