What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize