I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
