wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The best revenge is premature balding
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
