i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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