i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
