we have officially lost it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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