I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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