Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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