Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
