my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
love makes seman taste better
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize