I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
