i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
