Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
