This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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