I am puke
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
