She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize