Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
