I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
