So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
