My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
