blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
