but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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