hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
