he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
