ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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