Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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