go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your dad touched me again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
