Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
