S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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