So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
