sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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