My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
