I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
