you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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