so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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