i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
