I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize