i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
