I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
