im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
