He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
