Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
