Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
